I have arrived!

This morning I woke up in a hotel in Charlotte, having had an overnight layover from Tri-Cities. The alarm was scheduled to go off at 4:00, and I woke up at 3:59. I rubbed my sleepy eyes that still had my contacts in them, checked out of the hotel, rode the shuttle to the airport, and boarded my plane without any problems. I arrived in Miami and proceeded to gate D24, which was my departure gate for Port-Au-Prince.

I chose a seat that was facing a row of 4 pay phones. People kept coming up to use the pay phone, and the phone kept eating their money, and I kept offering them the use of my cell phone, which they gratefully accepted.

Kate arrived at about 9:30, and we started talking nonstop, finding out each other’s stories. We have a lot in common with each other! It was fun to get to know each other better after having only exchanged brief emails.

Angela arrived at about 11:15, and she had an amazing story of faith and God’s clear direction to take this step. Leann arrived about 11:45, and we didn’t get to hear her story, because we went to get some lunch together.

The place we chose to eat had only some horrible little sandwiches for $10 each, plus really nice, yummy coffee. I had a café con leche, which was delicious, and I bit the bullet and bought the sandwich, because I was starving hungry, and it was not so delicious. None of the other girls wanted anything, so we went to a Wendy’s that was farther down the concourse, and right across the aisle from the Wendy’s was this beautiful, cheap Cuban restaurant with empanadas and tostadas and amarillas and beans and rice and fresh orange juice and all sorts of deliciousness. I was so SAD that I had spent 10 bucks on that sandwich when I could have had THIS. Angela ordered from the Cuban place and Leann and Kate ordered from Wendy’s, and then we all went back to our gate to wait to board the plane. I did get myself an empanada for only $1.35, and I LOVED it!

When I had booked this flight, I had prayed about what seat to choose, and I had chosen 21E, sort of at random. Only middle seats were available to choose, and it was the closest one to the front, so it seemed the best option. However, when I got to the check-in counter in Charlotte, the agent said, “Oh, let me get you a better seat.” So she put  me in a window seat, 17A.

I got to the seat and the husband and wife seated in my row looked like Christians. “Have you all been to Haiti before?” I asked.

“No, have you?” they asked.

“No, this is my first time,” I replied. “So are you going on a mission trip? humanitarian aid? What’s the call for you?” I asked.

“A wedding, actually,” the wife said. “My sister is getting married on Saturday.”

They told me the story of how she had fallen in love with this Haitian named Elage, and now they were getting married. Ironically, they were going to the same city and same street as the orphanage I was going to!

So many “coincidences” occurred in our conversation that I could not think it was an accident that we had sat next to each other. I wasn’t originally supposed to be on that seat, and they weren’t originally supposed to be on that plane (they had missed an earlier flight due to a too-short layover).

The flight was pretty short, and we got off the plane and walked down an air conditioned concourse to an escalator that led to a door to the outside, where a shttle bus was waiting. Apparently this was new, because everyone around me was saying, “Whoa, this is fancy!” and “Wow, last time we had to get down off the plane and take a shuttle bus to the baggage claim area.” Through the windows of this concourse, we could see the airport. It was in not-so-good shape.

Leann, Angela, Kate, and me about to get on the shuttle

The scene of the immigration location

The orphanage had sent a man named Ronald to get us and manage our luggage and exit from the airport. He was amazing! He collected all our bags, got us through customs, and took us to the van affectionately dubbed “the Blue Bullet,” which was to take us to Club Indigo.

Ronald and the Blue Bullet

The Blue Bullet felt very dependable and sturdy, despite it's dented appearance. I was sitting in the front seat and noticed that the odometer said 113,000. I wondered if that would be miles or kilometers, and in either case, I thought, that was pretty low for a vehicle to get to this condition. (Maybe it's a million and 113,000, I thought.) But about an hour later, I realized that the odometer hadn't moved--so it's anyone's guess. The speedometer also didn't move--the needle just rested tranquilly at zero, giving such a sense of dichotomy to the times we were aggressively passing a tap-tap, going uphill in the oncoming lane.

The sights we saw on the two-hour drive to Club Indigo were far more numerous than what I could photograph. The photos are actually reflective of the least interesting sights, because the more interesting ones (the ones that included people) were never taken in the first place, because I had to be careful about showing my camera out the open window. So I only really got any pictures when we were really moving on the lonelier stretches of road, and most of those turned out blurry. However, for what it's worth, here are some:

I sat silent for most of the drive, my eyes alive with curiosity at all the sights, and my mind racing with a multitude of thoughts.

One of the thoughts I had was about withdrawing cash. They had told me that it was difficult to get cash, but I  had said to myself, "Oh, that doesn't matter; my debit card always works at ATM machines; and I'll just go and make a withdrawal in local currency. Why would that be difficult?"

But on our 2-hour drive, we passed through several towns, and I began to realize that I hadn't seen a single bank. There was a lack of brick-and-mortar institutions in general--Not just a scarcity, but a total absence. It dawned on me that the difficulty in getting cash lay in the nonexistence of ATM machines at all, not in the difficulty of finding a place to exchange for American dollars.

And then I saw a bank. I realized that I had seen a bank, dozens of them, lined up along the main road in every town. So I started trying to get a picture of one. I know this picture is blurry, but you get the idea. The other pictures I had were even more blurry, believe it or not. (My camera simply WILL NOT FOCUS.) :(

THIS is the bank.

Now I understand why they were saying that about getting cash. Hmmm...This should be interesting. But I brought some with me, just not as much as I would have if I knew this much had to last me for 3 months. Well...maybe it will just have to do.

He knows about the little things

Little details God took care of today so that I didn't get left in the lurch:

• A box of stuff I'm taking to a friend in Haiti arrived in the mail today, just in time for me to pack it in my stuff.
• A generous support check came in the mail today, allowing me time to deposit it before flying out.
• A replacement debit card arrived in the mail today, because mine was expired, which I didn't realize. I was depending on being able to use my debit card in Haiti. If it had arrived tomorrow, there would have been no way for me to get it.
• I got to the airport late--quite late--less than 30 minutes before my scheduled departure time--but I still made it on the plane.
• My bags got magically checked through all the way to Port-au-Prince, which shocked the lady at the counter, who had just finished explaining to me that I would have to pick them up from baggage claim in Charlotte, take them back to the hotel with me, and re-check them in (for an additional fee) the next morning when my flight departs. "They NEVER check the bags through when you have an overnight layover!" she exclaimed. "Much less when you're switching airlines!" But God knew that I was dreading the long walks down airport concourses on my sprained knee, and lugging two 51-pound bags around with me on top of that just would not have been happy. 
• Speaking of 51-pound bags, the lady at the check-in counter never even acted like she noticed that they were over the limit, sparing me a) hefty overweight baggage fees or b) painful unpacking and repacking to delete some of my suitcase's contents (which, being already late, would not have been pretty). 
• At the security checkpoint, I accidentally left in the bin my luggage claim tickets and all my boarding passes for every flight except my first leg. I proceeded to my gate without discovering my loss. Then I realized what I had done. I went back and the (very friendly) TSA guys hunted down every single bin until they found my paperwork. It was still there! Despite this unexpected delay, I still made it onto the plane!
• When my heart sank at landing at the most extreme distant point that a plane could land and still be at the airport, there was one of those nice trolley thingies waiting right there, and it picked me up and got me where I needed to go without me needing to walk. 
• Aaaaaand... I got to the hotel and my room is decorated in orange. :-D

Know the people and place where I'll be serving

Heather Elyse (pictured above with 10 of her children) is the woman who started the orphanage where I will be working in Haiti. Here is her blog address.

http://invadinghaiti.blogspot.com/

You absolutely MUST read the story "Table for Nine," written by Heather's daughter. *New* Read Table for Nine, chapter 2!

You can also "Like" her page on facebook here.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Heather-Elyse/167179153414725

Heather has a YouTube channel with 15 videos. Don't miss the one called "Our Story." Her daughter, Annelysia, who is 11 (I think), did the filming and editing of this video by herself. The children tell their stories in their own words. It is powerful, touching, and heart-rending to watch!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The orphanage where I will be serving is called the Giving Hope Rescue Mission. You can visit their website here.

http://www.givinghopehaiti.org/

The "Giving Hope Rescue Mission" also has a page on facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/GivingHopeRescueMission

First mention of Haiti at Ellerslie

On Wednesday of our first week at Ellerslie, Eric got up to give his morning message. This would be our first sermon we had heard from him. (Monday we were going over the handbook, and Tuesday, we had a session called "Foundations," which was basically background information that he would allude to during the course of our training that we needed to understand.)

First, however, he started in by asking for a show of hands for those whose air conditioning units were not working. He apologized very generously to the students who had suffered in the heat, and he said that they were working on getting some replacements installed. He was very accommodating, inviting anyone whose air conditioning unit was broken to sleep in certain classrooms that he named (one for the guys and one for the girls) where the air conditioning worked. The temperatures had soared past 100 degrees, and we were close enough to see the smoke plume from the largest wildfire in Colorado history which was raging out of control at that point.

"June is usually not as harsh as this June is," Eric said. "June is usually a very pleasant month. So hopefully, before the end of June, we get a little more of that pleasantness. This has been a little extreme since you guys have been here. But God knows you're training for missionary work, probably. [...] It's hard to sleep in--what's the guess of how hot a room has gotten so far? Any estimates? 105? Very comfortable. See, in Haiti, that'd probably be comfortable. It's all in perspective."

Interestingly enough, the air conditioning unit in my room worked perfectly, but we hadn't bothered to turn it on. Neither my roommates nor I had wanted it. We were comfortable. God has built me for hot weather.

Eric went on to call Christy up to the front of the room. I have already introduced you to her blog. She was going to be leaving the next day for Haiti, and He was going to allow her to share about the trip and ask for prayer requests, and then have a prayer time for her. First, though, he explained a little bit about the mission. (I am quoting at length from the transcript of his message. I have taken the liberty to remove "uh's" and some other vocal fillers like "and so" for better flow and readability.) I know that this post is quite lengthy, but it explains from the beginning the why and how of Ellerslie's (and thus, by extension, my own) connection to Heather Elyse and her ministry.

"It’s a very significant thing that Christy is participating in, and I want us to be very alerted spiritually to what is taking place down in Haiti. Leslie and I received a phone call (or an email, I don’t remember how it came) from a lady that runs a rescue mission down in Haiti, a month, month and a week (you know, somewhere around that) ago, and she said she had two little babies that were abandoned. They didn’t have names, they didn’t have birth dates, and she wanted to know if we would give them names and a birth date—and if we would consider adopting them.  

"If you knew our life, you’d understand how comical that is; however, Leslie and I have a pre-agreement with God that our answer is yes. When God shows us a need, our answer is yes, and then, we don’t just say yes to the person asking, we take it to God, and we say, “God, is our answer to them yes?” In other words, “You can still say no, but God, our answer is yes.” And He didn’t change the situation, so suddenly we were saying, “Sure! We’ll adopt two babies” (as if babies are easy to take care of).  

"And so, it’s Haiti, and Haiti is very unpredictable, but, so, we’re in the midst of that, but that’s sort of a side story, even though Christy is associated with that, because one of the things she’s coming down to help with is our two little babies. [...] 

"And so, this is obviously very personal for Leslie and I, but there’s more to it, and that is that this lady finds herself in a very unique situation, where, in working with the government, the government is turning to her with all these abandoned babies, and there’s just loads of them.  

"They don’t really struggle with abortion the same way they do here in America down in Haiti. They struggle with abandoned babies, because their form of abortion is to have the baby and then give it to an orphanage or abandon it. And so it’s a problem of epidemic proportions, I mean, it’s very significant. And if we were to find an abandoned baby, it would be shocking to the American culture; it would make front page news. Down there, it’s just, you know, an everyday occurrence.  

"Heather has been there two years, and she has (I still need to figure out the numbers; I keep forgetting to ask Annie for exact numbers), but it’s like she told me she had around 138. I think she’s already adopted out 78 back in the United States. Her desire is to get these kids into Christian homes. And I think she has, I want to say, around 138, and (this is where I need to get my math correct now), she has like 96 that she has no space for, that are living in hospitals, that she’s paying for, just because she has no space, so meanwhile, she’ll still take care of them, even though she can’t personally put them anywhere.  

"She has a massive need, and she’s the only American down there. She has like 70 Haitian staff. And the Haitian staff really struggles with nurturing the way that we would understand nurturing. You know, we’re Americans. We understand what it means to “cootchie coo” and cuddle and kiss on cheeks, and to hold. They’re more of a practical assistant. They’ll serve, help, and they truly do love the kids, but they don’t cuddle and nurture and love the same way, and a lot of the babies fail to thrive, and so a lot of them are dying. In fact, these babies are being handed over to Heather, and a lot of them are basically, you know, special needs, and they’re just dying. It’s just a matter of days before they die. So loads of babies have just died in her arms, just loads of them. So her desire is to see that they are treated the remaining days they have like royalty. And it really is a moving thing that’s taking place down there.  

"What we are doing is we are trying to know how we can assist. Right now we have a very clear thing to do, and that’s to take care of a few babies that are down there. We have just a handful down there. And so, right now, it’s Annie, Gerda, and Christy, are going down. That’s very strong. If you knew those three, you’d know that we’re putting a lot of strength down there at this time. 

 "They’re going to be staying at a place called Club Indigo. What do you guys think of Club Indigo? It’s nice. It’s like one of the nicest properties in Haiti, and it’s right on the ocean. However, because it’s so nice, it’s a place of a lot of darkness. So the UN will always come in on the weekends and just, you know, just be rowdy and obnoxious, and uh, the amount of junk, I guess, that takes place there, like a lot of the sex trafficking, a lot of the prostitution, a lot of it’s taking place there. So that’s where Christy’s going."

At this point, Eric related some facts that made the blood boil of probably everyone in the room, which I have withheld from posting to my blog. Then he continued.

"All I know is, we’re to be faithful with the little window we have, and here we are, sending down three young women. But these are tough-as-nails young women, just so you guys know. Christy might look all mild-mannered, but she knows how to fight spiritual battles. And she’s going into a very destitute situation, but I tell you what—I think this light is going to make a huge impact. And you have to realize what’s backing her up: THIS. Imagine if we get on our knees and support what’s going on down there."

I was listening to his whole narrative with a pounding heart, feeling like all I wanted to do was book a flight to Haiti and go down there and serve. But his next remarks brought my enthusiastic flights of fancy back down to be firmly grounded on a practical level. 

"The potential of impact we have down there is massive. But we have to take it one step at a time. And so, I don’t want you to feel “called to Haiti” just yet. Ok? What I want you to do is feel called to pray. For Christy. For Gerda. And for Annie. I want us to pray very specifically for this. 

 "It’s actually fairly expensive to send people down there right now. And I’m not just talking about the plane ticket; I’m talking about living down there. And the apartment is $1200 a month. Uh, yeah, so you think Haiti, uh, 5 bucks a month? And so $1200. It’s 'cause it’s such a, you know, just the environment. It’s Club Indigo. And so, it’s a very interesting dynamic that we’re dealing with. 

 "I did talk with Heather yesterday morning. Heather was—Heather is, as of of right now, planning on coming to Ellerslie on July 4^th. And I don’t know if she’ll be here for the rest of the summer. But she may have 17 of her kids with her. Yeah, could you imagine what that’s going to be like? Adding that to this environment?  

"So I’ll give you updates as that progresses, but she is—she’s at wit’s end right now. She is absolutely spent. She’s up almost all night every night. She has babies being dropped off. She has crises, hospital emergencies, constantly. And she has—I don’t know if it’s 17 kids or 13. I still haven’t figured out the math on that, either. But personal children. And she’s trying to raise them without a husband. And so she wants the strength that is here. 

"And so we have two things going on here. We have the potential to minister here in that regard, and we have the potential of sending our strength down there."

Then he opened up the microphone for Christy to share, and then her family went up on the stage with her and prayed. 

My attention had been riveted through the whole presentation. It was as if a fire had ignited within me. I must have sat there, visibly shining with the desire in my eyes to go. I wanted to go--but I held it loosely before the Lord, waiting on His timing. If He wanted me to go, he would call me and make a way. 

The Story Continues...

Read from the beginning...How God called me to Haiti

Shut Doors and Other Directions

After the earthquake in 2010, aid groups were going down to Haiti all the time, and I thought, "Surely now God will give me a chance to go." But it was not to be. I was working, I was broke, I didn't have any connections or leads for how or when or with whom to go, and the door remained shut.

Off and on, between then and now, I would meet people who had been to Haiti, or I would see a documentary on television about aid work down there, and always, my ears would perk up. "Haiti? What are they saying about Haiti?" I even met a guy who had been inside the Cité Soleil.

But Spain still seemed to be the thrust of my ministry, and I held Haiti loosely, waiting for God to reveal His will in His time. It was always in the back of my mind, but I was still unsure if it was merely my own idea, or if it was something God was hallmarking in my heart.

I went to Betel and loved it, and I thought that was going to be my life calling, my permanent life's work. Haiti seemed to retreat into the background. "Oh, well," I thought. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

But on my very last day in Betel, something happened that called into question my certainty that this was my life's calling, and I am still unsure at this very moment whether God is going to have more for me to do there.

Then God clearly and unmistakably led me to attend Ellerslie's training during the summer. It seemed like a perfect fit--I would attend the training, which fit perfectly into the window of time I had available between returning from Betel and attending the candidate orientation seminar with the mission board. God also miraculously had provided the money. I applied, got accepted, and went.

Even before I left, I remember saying to my mom, "You know, Ellerslie has a mission society--and they go to Haiti. I wonder if God wants to do anything with this?"

I didn't know it at the time, but it was at Ellerslie that God's hand would really start to move.

The Story Continues...First Mention of Haiti at Ellerslie
Start at the beginning...How God Called me to Haiti

The crushed snake

Ah! I have tickets.

The reality of this is just now hitting me.

I am actually going.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This morning my dad found a snake on the road in front of our house. It was dead, crushed by a passing vehicle.

Snakes are very feared in Haiti. They have very significant demonic symbolism to the Haitians.

In Genesis 3:15, God promises that the coming Messiah will crush the serpent's head.

So I think it's not an accident that God arranged for a crushed snake to show up right outside our front door today.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That reminds me of my snake story...

Ellerslie leases the Ellerslie campus from a wedding company that owns the property. During the week, we have the campus to ourselves, but on weekends, especially during the summer, weddings take place in the chapel and white tent. During these times, we stay to the end of campus where the dorms are, but often during the reception, the music gets played very loudly, penetrating into our dorm rooms with its driving beat.

Such was the case on Saturday, the 14th of July. The wedding music was oppressive to me, harsh and jarring, as the pounding dance music, so contrary to the spirit and purpose of Ellerslie, invaded every possible quiet spot.

I went searching for a place to pray.

In the little indention where the two wings of girls' dorms connected to the Keswick center, there were two air conditioning units running noisily. I discovered that I could sit against the wall of the building, behind the air conditioning unit, and it drowned out the music perfectly. So I began to pray.

The Lord moved upon my heart to pray for Haiti, and I began to pray what Eric calls "God-prayers," prayers that spring from the very Spirit of God praying through you. The things I was saying were audacious and very threatening to Satan and his kingdom, as I asked God to tear down the strongholds, break Satan's power over Haiti, send in the light of the gospel, and see Jesus high and lifted up in every corner of that land.

Then I said something even more audacious. I addressed Satan directly. I commanded him in the name of Jesus to leave Haiti alone, to depart, to withdraw, to relinquish his hold on that nation.

Instantly, an inexplicable feeling of drowsiness and lethargy came over me. It just fell over me like a warm down blanket. I recognized it as a spiritual attack.

"OH!" I said. "You didn't like that much, did you? Well, then how would you like it if I said it again?" And I repeated essentially the same words I had said before.

Then the burden of prayer lifted, and it was time to go back inside anyway, because we have to be inside the dorms by 9:00 and it was about 8:50. I rose up from my seat on the gravelly ground.

"KRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

A loud rattle startled me and I looked down.

Unknown to me in the gathering dusk, a snake had slithered up close to me. My movement now startled it and it let me know in no uncertain terms that we were not having a friendly encounter.

I thought it was a rattlesnake by the sound it made. (Later, however, the guys who caught it and removed it said that it was a Bull snake.) In a flash, the following thoughts went through my head.

That's a poisonous snake.
It must have come up here to get warm. 
I am cornered in this spot behind the air conditioning unit. 
I have to pass within striking distance of it to get out of here.
I can't just stand here and wait to see if it goes away, because I have to be in the dorm by 9:00. 
How interesting that a snake should startle me just when I was praying about Haiti.
Snakes symbolize demonic spirits. 
I really don't think that Satan liked what I was praying just now.
I'm not afraid of snakes. 
I'm not afraid of this one. 
I'm just going to walk right by, even though he could reach me if he wanted to. 
I'm going to just do it smoothly and calmly, like this. 

So, as if I was walking by a gum wrapper, I exited my little corner. The snake remained motionless.

I walked around the corner of the building and a huge toad hopped across my path. I made an exclamation of surprise, and the verse instantly popped into my head, "And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet."

I didn't consider it an accident that immediately after praying powerful, warlike prayers against Satan and his kingdom, two symbols of his kingdom should cross my path. But I did take the hint that the enemy was aware of who I am and what I am doing. I also took the hint that if he doesn't like it, it must be actually taking effect among his minions and machinations.

"And the gates of hell shall not prevail against [the church]."--Jesus (Mt. 16:18)

This was the clearest picture I got of the snake. I didn't have my camera on me during my prayer time, but I went up and got it and went back out when the guys were trying to catch it.   

In this picture you can see the arrangement of the corner of the building and the air conditioning unit where I was sitting. (There were actually two air conditioning units, and I was sitting behind the other one when the snake came up.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

As I was writing out the story of my encounter with the snake, I asked myself, "So what was it really? A rattlesnake, or a bull snake?"

I went to Google images and searched for "rattlesnake."

"Whoa," I thought. "Actually this looks quite a bit like a rattlesnake. Maybe it actually was one."

Then I typed in a search for "bull snake."

The bull snake looked just the same! How would I know which was which?

So I searched "difference between a bull snake and a rattlesnake."

This page came up and convinced me, based on my photos, that it was a bull snake. At first I was a little disappointed. How much more dramatic the story would have been if it was a real rattlesnake.

But on second thought, I think it's even more appropriate this way. The bull snake is the harmless look-alike to the rattlesnake. It's not poisonous or scary. But because it looks like a rattlesnake, it fools predators into staying away from it.

So when Satan sent out his symbolic message to me, he had to send the harmless look-alike, something meant to scare people, but when you look a little closer, he's merely bluffing.

Isn't that exactly like Satan himself? He makes this great smoke-and-mirrors display of his power, when all along, it's a fraud. Jesus de-fanged him at the cross. He has no poison, only his clever attempts to make people believe that he has.

Anyone who knows his stuff will look at a bull snake and scoff. "Ha! You expect to deter me by throwing that in my path? Why, I'm more dangerous than it is. Just look at it--it's not a rattler at all. It doesn't have the wide, triangular head, the stubby, abruptly-ending tail, or the slit-shaped pupils. Biologically it's totally different. It lays eggs; the rattler has live young. I'm not afraid of this thing. You can't convince me that I should run from this guy. He's harmless.

It's just like what God says about people's reaction to Satan:

"They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms; that made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners?" (Isa. 14:16-17).

In other words, when he is revealed for what he is, people will see him and be incredulous. They will squint and look closer and exclaim, "Is that all? Really? We believed he was so great when he was really just that?"


Yeah.

It's like they go out expecting to see something big and scary, and they see a little snake on the road, crushed by a passing car.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fast forward to 2010

Random bits of Haiti floated in and out of my mind after that journal entry in 2006. I honestly didn't know what to make of it. I did do a Google search for mission opportunities down there, but I didn't get anywhere. Nothing compelling or God-sponsored seemed to come out of it. I was trying to determine whether the whole vision and "hearing from the Lord" thing that I journaled about was really of God, or perhaps merely the result of an overactive imagination or a vivid dream. So I just kept it to myself and held it loosely, willing to go or stay, but unable to move forward without clearer guidance from the Lord.

In that interval, I filled out some applications for mission boards, and I always indicated Spain as my first choice and Haiti as my second choice of where to minister. I never could forget about Haiti. But I would knock on doors, and they would go unopened, and I would move on with a shrug, wondering if it would always be like this, and wondering why I had such a strong impulse about Haiti if nothing was ever going to come of it.

Fast forward to 2010. The earthquake struck Haiti, leaving massive chaos and destruction, loss of human life, wounds, suffering, pain, and tears.

Something clicked in my mind. Those people that I had seen! I thought. Those people who were wailing, throwing their arms in the air, despairing--This is why. It was as if the connection was forged in gold between the people in my vision and the people I saw on television after the earthquake.

I prayed then for Haiti for the first time. It might seem pretty lame that I took this long to get praying, but that's how my prayer life was. I sincerely disliked prayer. Somehow, though, the love and ache for Haiti that sprang up at the time of the earthquake translated itself into passionate, effectual prayer. When I prayed for Haiti, I felt like I was getting a little piece of God's heart. It was as if the Holy Spirit laid His finger on my heart when I said, "Haiti," and nodded "yes." I prayed audacious, nation-changing prayers that just seemed to flow out of the Spirit's guidance.

And I thought I might get a chance to go, at least for a little while.


The Story Continues...Shut Doors and Other Directions
Start at the Beginning...How God Called Me To Haiti

Journal entry from April 2, 2006

This was the beginning. This was the first time Haiti ever penetrated my consciousness. 

I have only shared this journal entry with 2 or 3 people. I hesitate to make it public, because I myself don't know what to make of it. I just kept it to myself all these years, waiting for God to reveal to me what He wanted to do with it. 

Now, it appears that this is the time.

-------------------------

April 2, 2006

It's very intriguing. 

This evening the song, "Here I am, Lord" popped into my head. "I the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry..." I don't know all the words, because I've only sung it once or twice, and I haven't heard it for about 2 years.

Then, as I tried to fall asleep tonight, I was praying. I was praying for my future ministry, that whatever it was, I would depend on God for everything. Suddenly I had one of those "Ohhh!" moments, where it clicked, that Abiding in Christ (which had always been something I wanted to do but couldn't really understand) sounded a lot like depending on God. "I am the vine, ye are the branches..." "Ohhh! The branches depend on the vine, drawing their every need from it." Depending on God was something more concrete, something that I had done, something that I could relate to.

So then, somehow, I don't know how it happened or if I was thinking of something that led up to it, but I saw a vision of being in the Dominican Republic, and I saw some Haitians. They cried out, flung their hands in the air, and then fell down, fainting. Then in the vision, I was in Haiti, and I looked around and saw everyone around me doing the same thing. It was a cry of despair, of hopelessness, an unworded plea something like, "Lord, can't you see we can't take it anymore?"

Then the vision was over and I continued praying, "Lord, send me to people who are hurting, who are needy, who are suffering". The thought came, "It'll be like pouring energy into a black hole." I responded, "Well, Lord, don't you have enough resources to pour into the black hole and fill it up? I'm only going to be a spout for you to pour through."

And then came the shocker. "How about doing that in Haiti?" God said. "What?" I thought. "I've always felt called to a Spanish-speaking country. And I don't speak Creole. Nobody else in the world does, either. It would just be a waste of time to learn a little language like that." (Ha ha...as I wrote that, God just said, "So when you're through preaching the Gospel to every single person in Haiti, I'll let you move on to a bigger language." LOL... I guess it isn't that little. And who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?)

"Why don't you just look up 'Haiti Mission' online?" God suggested. I renewed my protest. "Not Haiti, Lord. Are you saying you want me to go to Haiti? I can't believe it."

"Just look it up."

"Well, it couldn't hurt. But Haiti is dangerous. There's so much political turmoil and unrest. There's so much AIDS. There's so little electricity & running water. I'd rather not go to a place where I was going to get sick." (Note: Before this, I could not have seen myself telling God, "Not ____, Lord. Send me anywhere but there." I mean, you hear about Christians who won't surrender to God because they're afraid he's going to send them to Africa, and I always thought, "How ridiculous. Don't they trust that God knows best where to send them?" I guess I was proved wrong.)

So God said, "Well, could you do it for a year? It doesn't have to be for the rest of your life."

About this time, I realized what song was playing in my head. "...I have heard my people cry...Here I am, Lord..." It got loud and clear and I remembered the cry in the vision.

"Okay, this is getting weird, Lord," I thought. I started thinking about what I knew about Haiti.

• A couple of my friends have talked about their experience there.
• Once when we were in the Dominican Republic, Pastor José pointed out some Haitians to me. They are taller, thinner, and blacker than the Dominicans, and they all get the worst jobs, the things the Dominicans don't want to do, the jobs with the hardest work and the lowest pay. But they do it because it's much better wages than they could make in Haiti. 
• About a month ago, I was on the travel.state.gov website and was looking up all their sheets on visiting different countries. I read a dozen or two different ones, and one of them was for Haiti.It was a strongly worded statement to the effect of, "We do not recommend visiting Haiti at this time; it is very dangerous," which was much more extreme than any of the other countries. At the time, I was like, "Well, I'm glad I'm not going to Haiti." 

"Never say never," D. told me once. 

So I'm going to look into it.

This should be interesting.

-------------------

The Story Continues...Fast Forward to 2010
Start at the Beginning...How God Called Me to Haiti

How God Called Me To Haiti

Some of you who have known me for a while might be thinking things along the lines of,
•  "Why Haiti?"
•  "Why not a Spanish-speaking country?"
•  "Isn't this rather sudden?"
•  "Could this step be some sort of spontaneous aberration? It doesn't fit with the story."

I could be thinking those things myself, if it weren't for the things that God did to manifestly prove to me that His hand is guiding me to take this step. So what did He do, and how did He tell me?

You can't just open up the Bible and find a verse that says, "Rebekah, go to Haiti." (Think how long the Bible would have to be if it included personal messages like that to everyone!)

But God is a good communicator. He is perfectly able to communicate a message to His children. When He speaks, He ensures that we get it, and understand it, and know where it's coming from. I have often tried making "helpful suggestions" to God, thinking up ways for him to get across to me what He wants. ("Lord, why don't you speak in an audible voice?") but the fact is, He doesn't need my help. He can use His own means of communication, and I have learned to trust that if He wants me to know something, He will make it  perfectly clear to me.

Surprisingly enough, this story goes all the way back to 2006.

Next Post: Journal Entry from April 2, 2006

My Next Step: to Haiti!

I would like to announce with great excitement that I have been accepted to serve in Haiti!

I don't know all the details yet, but here is the basic gist:

•  I am going with a group of Ellerslie alumni.
•  I will be serving in an orphanage and a Christian school, wherever I am most needed.
•  I will be leaving in the next 7-10 days (the exact date is still uncertain, because I don't have plane tickets yet).
•  I will be living in an apartment with the other Ellerslie girls.
•  The apartment is in a guarded compound called Club Indigo that is described as "posh."
•  I will have internet access and electricity but no "snail mail" (Haiti has no mail or post office system)
•  I intend to keep my blog updated as often as possible (but it may not be daily), and I intend to post lots of pictures!

In the meantime, you might want to go visit Christy's blog. She is down there at the moment, doing what I will be doing. Her writing and pictures are beautiful.

~~~~~

You might also like:
•  Know the People and Place Where I Will Be Serving
•  How God Called Me To Haiti
•  Dangerous

Chocolate cake with map of Haiti in buttercream frosting, courtesy of my artist sister, Katherine

The skit

This is the skit that Mom & I did in the jail. Enjoy!

Theme: Salvation message

Characters:

Rebekah: A lost person who is miserable but open and seeking

Susan: A Christian who is counseling her to salvation

 

R:         Oh, I am so empty, so hopeless, and so miserable! Everyone around me is annoying. Everything is going wrong. My life is out of my control, and I keep making mistakes that make things even worse.

S:         It sounds like you need Jesus. Can I tell you about him?

R:         I already know about Him. He is the Son of God, he died on the cross for my sins, and he rose again from the dead. It doesn’t help. I went to chuch all my life.

S:         That’s great that you know about Jesus, but you know, knowing about Jesus is different from knowing Him.

R:         What do you mean?

S:         You might know about Barak Obama, but you can’t call him on the phone and talk to him about your personal problems and know that he cares or expect him do something about it. Lots of people know about Jesus, but they don’t have that personal relationship with him. When I came to know Him personally, He changed my life.

R:         Okay, that makes sense. What do I need to do differently? I mean, what have I done wrong? I did everything I could. I went to church.

S:         Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going in the garage makes you a car. When Jesus died on the cross, He shed His blood for your sins so that you could be forgiven.

R:         You know, that’s the thing I don’t get. How does the blood of a guy who died 2,000 years ago have anything to do with me?

S:         Well, let’s go back to the beginning of time to answer that question. God created the world and placed Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. He gave them a command: “Don’t eat of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. If you do, you will surely die.” In other words, if you disobey, you will pay for it with your blood. Adam and Eve disobeyed, and now they owed God their blood. All their descendants committed sin, too. You’re included in that. You owe God your blood. You deserve to die for the sins you have committed. When Jesus died and shed His blood, He offered himself in your place. God is willing to accept His sacrifice on your behalf—His blood for yours.

R:         That’s cool…so does that just automatically happen to me?

S:         No, God’s word says, “The just shall live by faith.” It also says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God.” Jesus said, “This is the work of God, that you believe on Him whom He hath sent.” Your job is to have faith. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved.”

R:         [shrugs] I do believe.

S:         There’s a difference between Biblical faith and checking off a mental True/False test in your head. Many people can spout off the correct answers. Jesus was the Son of God: True. Jesus died for my sins: True. Jesus rose from the dead on the third day: True. That’s mental assent, but it’s not Biblical faith.

R:         Then what does faith mean?

S:         Faith means abandoning all hope in yourself that you will ever do anything good, and placing all of your trust, hope, and dependence on Jesus. You give every part of your life to him. You turn from your way of doing things and make Him the Master. You trust Him to do what you could never do—not just obtain forgiveness of your sins from God, not just get a home in heaven someday, but you look to him and believe that He can enable you to overcome sin. You surrender. You let go of your way of doing things. You invite Him to come in and change you.

R:         Ha. My track record is so bad, I’ll never be any different.

S:         Well, see there? You don’t really believe. You are looking within yourself for the solution. You have tapped into all of your inner resources and have come up empty. That doesn’t matter. Jesus lived out a perfect life while He was here on earth. When you invite Him to come in, He can live out His life through you. But you must look to Him and believe Him to do it.

R:         That sounds like wishful thinking to me.

S:         It would be wishful thinking if it wasn’t based on the Word of God. But God cannot lie. His promises are trustworthy. You can depend on His Word. What He has revealed to us in Scripture is the truth. He offers Jesus to anyone who will believe on Him, not just to leave us miserable on earth and then take us to heaven when we die, but to change us, enable us, and empower us to live out His commands while we are here on earth. Admittedly, His commands are impossible for us to carry out. That’s why we need Him to live in us and carry them out through us.

R:         Does the Bible really say all that?

S:         Galatians 2:20 says, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

            Romans 8:11 says, “But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.”

            There are many other passages that teach this truth in depth, but the fact of the matter is, God offers you His own Son. Jesus offers to come and indwell you with His Spirit (the Holy Spirit), and His power becomes available to you to live out a holy life.

R:         Well, I certainly know I can’t trust myself to get anywhere. I want Him to do it for me. I don’t know how it works, though.

S:         You believe Him. You come to Him by faith. That’s your job. You believe, and He works. Believe that He can do this, believe that He will, and believe that it is available personally for you. He said so, and it’s the truth. Invite Him to come into your life and change you, and surrender the control of your life over to Him. “The just shall live by faith.” You don’t just say “I believe” and then go on and forget about it. You live each day trusting in Him to do His work in you.

R:         Ah. Well, that’s amazing if He can actually…work…in me…like…my life would be a stage for divine action?

S:         That’s exactly it.

R:         I’ve never seen it happen before, but if He’s God, He can do anything He wants, right?

S:         He sure can. Why don’t you tell Him right now that you trust Him to do this?

R:         OK. Um, Jesus? I’m in a mess, and I know I’ve done it all wrong. I know I’ll keep on doing it wrong and I can’t depend on myself. Help me to believe—I believe in you, but I want to believe in the way that actually means something and gets somewhere. I offer myself to you. I’m backing off. I’m letting go of the control of my life. You can take it. I want to know you, not just know about you, but know you personally. Will you come to live in me? Will you do God-sized things in my life? Thank you, God. Amen.

Multiplied Ministry Opportunities

Now I have a list of 15 women who want to receive discipleship material by mail. How easily ministry opportunities multiply!

In the old days, I would have lived by the rule of self-preservation. "Don't love too much. Don't get too involved. Don't offer to do something that will take too much of your time. Don't commit to doing a task, because that's overwhelming."

But now I live by the rule of obedience. "Do what the Lord calls you to do. Love with all your heart--you won't run out of love as long as it's coming from the infinite source of God. Be willing to get involved. Be willing to care. Be willing to write 15 letters.

In the old days, I would never have discovered this opportunity because I would have shielded myself from it. I would have shrunk back from it. I didn't have the tensile strength to bear it.

In the old days, I was stumped by the question, "How do you DO ministry? How do you find ministry opportunities? How do you invent ways to serve the Lord?"

Now, my perspective is quite different. "How do you NOT see MILLIONS of opportunities? There is an explosion of possibilities. The fields are white unto harvest."

In the old days, I was constantly stressed, overwhelmed, and stretched thin, because I was inventing things for myself to do.

Now I am at peace, calm, unstressed, and abounding in strength to be poured out, because I walk in obedience. I aim to do only and exactly what God wants me to do. I trust Him never to fill my plate too full. I wait for His leading, go when He says go, and do nothing when He is silent. How marvelous is this way of life! How blessed is this style of ministry! Having tasted of this, I never want to go back to the old way.

A phone and a slice of bread

"Please write to me," one woman named Crystal said to my mom while we were at the jail. "Do you recognize me?"

"I know you look familiar," my mom said.

"I was the one who came to your front porch that day," she said.

"OH!" my mom said.

Two or three months ago, she had been walking down the road and came up to our house to ask if she could use a phone. She hadn't eaten. I brought out a glass of ice water, a thick slice of buttered homemade bread and an orange. She ate and used the phone and told us her story. She had been beaten up by her boyfriend. She called and asked a friend to come and pick her up. We offered to take her anywhere she needed to go, but she declined. While we were sitting there, her boyfriend drove back and forth down the road several times. Finally, he stopped in front of our house and called Crystal over to the car. "Get in," he said. She got in the car with him and they drove off. We never knew what happened to her after that, but she told my mom that that after they left our house, her boyfriend beat her up really bad. Now, she said, both of them were in jail.

It's amazing how a small act of kindness--a glass of water, a slice of bread, an orange, a seat on our porch, a listening ear--can be used by God to open up a future door of ministry.

Jail Ministry Update

The Carter County Jail (while still under construction)

We walked into the brand new jail for the first time and a guard escorted us through a number of locked doors into a large room walled on all sides with one-way glass. (You could see in from the outside, but not out from the inside.) This jail was just recently built, and they had moved all the prisoners here since the last time we had come. Gone were the peeling paint, leaky ceilings, and ultra-dingy, drab surroundings.

Fourteen women came in to the room to have the Bible study. There were tables and chairs set up in the room, another welcome change, and they filled in the first three rows. Their careworn faces, unadorned with makeup, did not hide their eager eyes. They were hungry. They were glad we had come. Kim, one of the women we have built up a relationship with, brought a Bible. It was brand new two months ago, but now the pages were well-worn and betrayed many hours of reading.

Lois began with a word of prayer and then we passed out song sheets. "Oh!" exclaimed one girl. "They were telling me about the song sheets we get!" She eagerly took the two pages of the printout we had brought. We stood to sing, and the women stood with us. They sang along, not beautifully, but from their hearts.

Then Mom and I read a short skit that I had written, a simple dialogue between a lost, hopeless person (played by me) and a Christian who was witnessing to her (played by mom). As I wrote the skit the night before, I had stressed the concept of Christ's indwelling presence, His very life that He lives out in us, His power that gives us the ability to live the impossible life. The skit ended with the unsaved girl praying a prayer. I had written out what I was going to pray, but I just put the script in my lap and looked up to heaven and prayed what came from my heart in that moment. Tears came into my eyes as I prayed. I could hear sniffles from the room. Some of the girls were also in tears. God was touching their hearts.

This went along with the Bible lesson that Debbie had prepared, so after the skit, she passed out the sheets with the Bible verses and began to speak on salvation. Before she had gotten halfway through the lesson she had prepared, the door at the back of the room opened and a guard appeared. Thirty minutes had passed. Our time was up.

We were a little shocked, because before, in the old jail, they had allowed us as much time as we wanted. Now we were not nearly finished with our material, because after the Bible lesson, we intended to have a question and answer period where the women could interact with us. Kim especially always had questions.

Mom looked at the guard with her most cordial smile and said, "Do you think you could ask if we could have a little more time?" The guard hesitated, and then left the room.

"I have a question," one of the women in the second row said. Her name was Tina. There was a sense of urgency in her voice.

"When I came in here, I was so ashamed. I know God knows what I did, but I'm too ashamed to come to Him. How do I get past the shame? I've known Him all my life, but I can't bring myself to approach Him because I'm so ashamed. How do I deal with that?"

We just barely had time to squeeze in an answer before the guard came back and said that we couldn't have more time. We briefly talked about forgiveness and about how when Adam and Eve sinned, they were ashamed, yet it was God who sought them out, not the other way around.

The women all filed out the back door, and we were left alone in the front of the room. We thought that it was over. But as one of the women was leaving, she told us that they would be bringing another group to see us. Apparently there are two floors of women prisoners, and they have to bring each floor separately. We hadn't known this.

~ ~ ~

A few minutes later, the second group came in. There were nineteen of them. This time, they congregated towards seats at the back, and they all tended to sit far away from each other as well. When we sang, only one girl stood with us, and only a few of them sang along, but in low, muted voices. We had a word of prayer, and this time we asked for prayer requests. Several people asked for prayer for various needs, and we prayed. We had changed our plan slightly, knowing that our time was precious, so we only did the skit and skipped the Bible lesson (we had already given out our handouts to the first group anyway). We asked if anyone had any questions. Only one person did. These women were not as hungry or as engaged with us as the first group had been. Because we had been more efficient, we now had like 15 minutes to fill.

Mom spontaneously shared a brief exhortation on gratefulness that was very good.

Then I said, "Can I ask you all a question?"

A few heads nodded dully.

"We really love you," I said. "We want to treat you like royalty, and serve you, and wash your feet." The love of God was pouring into my heart and gushing out almost palpably as I said it. "But I'm new to this--this is my second time--and I'd like to get to know you. What are some of the ways that we could practically meet your needs? What are some things that we might not think of that would bless you?"

It was like an electric spark went through the room. I made eye contact with one of the girls. Her eyes were filled with tears. Love was working on hardened hearts.

"We just appreciate it that you come to talk to us," one woman said.

I knew there must be more. A sudden inspiration dawned on me.

"Can you all get mail?" I asked.

"Yes," they replied.

"How would someone send mail to you?" I asked.

"You have to write it on a postcard and address it to the jail. The postcard has to be completely blank on the front. It can't have a picture or anything." Then she added, with an eager, hungry smile, "But you can write with colored ink!"

(Colored ink. It is amazing how hungry for color the eye can get when you're inside the jail. The walls are painted a yellowish-beige color and the floors are dark gray concrete.)

"So would we address it to your name? Or do we need a number or something?" I asked.

"Our names," came the reply.

We used the back of one of the song sheets, and fifteen girls wrote their names on the list. The dull, uninterested atmosphere had completely changed. God had moved again in this second group in a completely different way than He had moved in the first--but in both cases, He was at work.

Thank you God!

------------------
Follow-up posts:
A phone and a slice of bread
Multiplied Ministry Opportunities
The Skit

Jesus changes people

Yet another story of the power of grace redeeming people and changing their lives:

In which I come to my senses

"What is wrong with me?" I wondered.

All my grand visions for what I was going to do and how I was going to be different have just flown out the window. All the good habits I had begun had just sunk back to their previous levels of nonexistence. I was a slave again to sleep, my prayer life had fallen to pieces, and I spent my days sitting on my bed, doing stuff on my computer.

What in the world?

And then I realized it: I had pitched my tent.

I came back from Ellerslie and said to myself, "I'm not going to pitch my tent. I'm going to press in hard."

But then somehow another idea crept in unawares, and ever so subtly, it edged the first idea out. It was, "Well, now you've been to Ellerslie and you've learned all these great truths. Why don't you just sit back and let it do its work? You've got it. Now just let it play itself out."

I should have seen that for what it was: a pile of tent stakes laid out invitingly, just waiting for me to pound them in. But somehow, I didn't recognize it. It seemed reasonable. I just wanted a little downtime.

Pound, pound, pound--into the ground my tent stakes went. 

Do you know it is impossible for "truth to just play itself out" when you have pitched your tent? No wonder my Christian life was going to pieces. I had become stationary. I had settled in. I was no longer pressing in hard.

Over Labor Day weekend my family camped for a night. Somehow the Lord brought me to my senses. I saw what I had done. I recognized the reason why my Christian walk had quickly become so pathetic.

The solution is so simple. Pull up the tent stakes! Press onward! No downtime! That is the ringing call of my soul. I will not settle.

---------------------------------

What I mean when I say "Don't Pitch Your Tent"
On our second day of Ellerslie training, Eric Ludy told a story about taking voice lessons from Dr. Scott Martin, a preeminent vocal coach. He spent about ten minutes giving us a mind-boggling overview of some of the technical aspects related to singing, from proper breathing to where the sound bounces in your throat to controlling the position of your lips to influence your sound. I'll continue in Eric's own words.

My point is, you have no idea how much detail there is to singing--no idea--until you start getting into it, you start studying under a Yoga, okay? So, it's been a year, and I've been studying singing, and I've been expecting to reach some plateau somewhere along the line, because I was averaging (I didn't average 6 hours a day; I'm sorry to say that) I was averaging about two and a half hours a day. Every week, he would ask me how many hours, and every week he was mad at me. And I was giving everything I had, every spare moment I had, to train. Two and a half hours a day, by the way, is a lot of training, okay? And so he was always disgusted--never one compliment! For an entire year I didn't hear one good thing that I'd ever done. And I'm one of those guys who sort of works for the compliments, and so I kept going after it. He didn't give it. So there I am a year later. I finally got up the guts to ask him the question. 

"Scott--how good am I?" 

What does he do? He smiles. A little chuckle in his throat.

"Oh, you finally got up the guts to ask?" 

"Yeah. Uh huh." 

He said, "Eric, you played soccer, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"How old were you when you started playing soccer?"

"Seven."

"Okay. Imagine: You're seven years old and you're playing soccer for one month. How good were you?"

"I stunk."

"Exactly." 

I'd been training for a year, killing myself for this guy, and I'm being compared with a seven-year-old playing soccer for one month? I mean, I was just falling apart at the seams!

And he goes, "And before you get too discouraged..."

(I'm like "Oh! Too late!")

He says, "Eric, you need to realize--this is very important; listen closely--singing is an endless frontier. You have taken one step into an endless frontier; you're asking how far you've gone. Eric, you've gone one step into an endless frontier. Now you need to realize, you're one step further than 99.9% of the rest of the human race. But NEVER PITCH YOUR TENT."

There's a gem for you right there. It'll change your life, like it did mine. Ellerslie's built upon this premise. It's the endless frontier. In other words, most of us are looking for a place to pitch our tent. "Well, how much more do I need to do to finally just get 'set' so I'm right with God, and everything's fine, and then I could live my life? I--I just want to find that spot." You know, most of us coming into Ellerslie--unintentionally we've pitched our tent, because we were ahead of the culture around us. Compared to the Christians around us, we were very impressive. "Hey, I'm going to Ellerslie." And we had pitched our tent.

Do you know what my desire is? I want to be the greatest husband in this generation. Why not? Who's competing with me? Isn't that an interesting thought? We have people that are trying to get to the Olympics, people that are trying to get into pro football, pro basketball, and pro baseball. And they're giving up their lives, spending their best energies, their best moments, on things that are trivial. How many of us are willing to give up our life for the things that are eternal? I want to be the greatest husband ever. And while I'm at it, I might as well seek to outpace Paul as a Christian. And you could say, "That's impossible." I don't care if it's impossible! I need a goal! I need something to aim for! And what are we aiming for? Jesus!

When you aim for Jesus, you do not pitch your tent. Will we ever reach Him this side of Eternity? Well, I hate answering that question because that's the classic question. We're still looking for a spot to pitch. I know I'm probably not going to be finished. (Okay, I should remove the "probably" in that.) I know I won't be finished. But I refuse to accept "not being finished." I press on! I want to see the full maturity of Christ in me and in you. Let's press on! Pull up the tent stakes! Onward! March! 

And that's the environment you've come into. You start to get settled after three weeks? "OH, that was a hard three weeks. Whew! All right, that's a nice spot for a tent." Pull out the tent stakes, what's going to come out? "Hey! You're trying to put down your tent stakes!" And you're like, "Oops!" 

It's a natural inclination. Right now you're like "Yeah, I don't want to put down tent stakes." But we just aim in that direction. We're looking to settle. God is looking for pioneers--those that will go out into the untamed territories that have been lost to modern Christianity. 

No one has a map any more. You know what a map is? It's a human life, lived in front of a generation, that everyone can inspect and say, "So that's what it looks like." This generation is needing maps. It's needing men and women who forge into uncharted waters, who forge into uncharted territories, who face all the obstacles and then come back and say, "Look what my God did." And then everyone looks at them and says, "If they could do it, and if God was faithful for them, then He could be faithful for me. That's what Christian biography is. That's all it is--it's a whole bunch of maps for us to look at. We have the Word of God, and then God leverages the maps throughout the ages, the stories of the martyrs and the mighty men, to direct us and say, "See? I still work today." 

You know one of the most common doctrines is the notion that, "Yeah, well the God of Acts, He doesn't work that way anymore."

Prove them wrong!

The God of the Bible is your God. Pull up the tent stakes. 

And so as we begin, that's one of the first things we need to do. Deliberately choose to say, "I'm not settling here." Onward. Upward. Forever march.