Sunday, November 25, 2012

In which God gives me a most incredible gift

Three days after I surrendered my alone time to the Lord, I had a room all to myself. It was not of my doing, I didn't have to manipulate it, but here I am!

That was November 18, and on November 21, I was in my room, all by my very happy alone self.

I still haven't gotten over the luxury of it.

This is how it worked out:

The day we took the trip to Port-au-Prince that I mentioned earlier, my roommates were headed to the airport. Their time here was complete and they were heading home. Once they left, I moved in with Gerda to help her with the kids while Annie was home for a week. Annie got home on the 21st, and I moved back out and down to my old quarters, now empty.

I don't have any kids. I'm the single person again.

This frees me up tremendously. I feel like dancing. I feel lighter than air. I feel so liberated to pour into others now. I can finally devote the time I need to elements of class prep that just had me stumped. I can offer to take kids for a while to let one of the other ladies have a break. I can have all the school-age children at Club Indigo over to my room for school time. I can make the projects that have been weighing down on me, like the gift packets for the nannies at the creche. Ah...I finally feel like I am bursting free to thrive and act and actually accomplish the roles that God has given me, instead of just barely keeping my head above water and operating in survival mode. I feel like I am released to do the work I am called to do and have the possibility of doing it well.

I am incredibly thankful.

This side of the room has become like our little community center. It's a school room, movie theater, dining room for group pot-lucks, music lesson studio, you name it!

Important note: I don't want any of this to sound like I disliked my roommates or chafed under the crowded conditions. We had such a fabulous group of girls together, and we had a thriving, happy, unified relationship. For having 5 women in such small quarters, we had practically no bickering, gossip, or raging emotions, and that is amazing evidence of God's grace being supplied to us. I love the fact that the girls and I shared this room. It's part of what makes living here a happy thing. All the memories of what we did and said here still float through my mind as I walk through the room. "Remember when so-and-so's bed was there?" I will think to myself. "Remember when we had the table there, and we cut up all the vegetables for stir fry together and told stories?" "Remember when there was a huge spill there?" etc. etc. etc.

No, my relationship with my roommates was purely positive. But their time came to an end, as I knew it would, and their departure made it feel like my own time in Haiti was starting over from the beginning. I know, however, that my laments over their absence cannot bring them back. Just as God gave grace for the season we were together, he is giving grace for this new season. I rejoice in it and I am thankful for it.

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