After Friday's events, I was tenuously clinging to the truth but not quite walking in it. It was like I knew it was there but couldn't see it. I couldn't comprehend it or enter into the freedom that it would bring me.
Saturday night, we watched The Hiding Place (the story of Corrie Ten Boom and her family). As I watched the struggles of the women doing hard labor in the Ravensbruck concentration camp, I suddenly experienced a flash of indignation.
I have been duped! I have been tricked into thinking that I was tired! Here I am, sitting here well fed and just a little bit sleepy, and I take that as a valid excuse not to pray!
I was horrified at the wimpy, pathetic way I had fainted so easily at a little bit of exertion. I had no strength, no strength at all, if a little bit of prayer was enough to send me instantly comatose! Here I was--nothing in my body hurt, I had plenty of natural force for, say, moving a sofa by myself in order to vacuum under it, and yet the tiniest little obstacle was enough to make me collapse.
I was pretty speechless after the movie was over. I went to the Keswick center and prayed until midnight. I enjoyed a little more freedom than usual in prayer, and I thanked God for it.
To Be Continued...