Today I got up to the front of the chapel in our testimony time and said, "I'm so excited, I can't contain myself from telling you this: Today is the best day of my life, because it is the first day I am truly living by grace and wholly dependent on God."
Dependence on Jesus every moment--conscious dependence, looking to him for exactly what to do and say. This is a revolutionary way of life, one that I often wanted to try to accomplish in my own strength, but failed to do. But it's not me who does it (or does anything). It's HIM. And discovering how to live this way is literally blowing my mind.
One test, Mr. Ludy said, of whether you really have died to self or not, is if God asks you for some sacrifice and you are able to give it instantly without hesitation or putting up a fight.
Last night I was saying to the Lord, "God, this is so amazing, and this Christian life is so worth living, I will give up anything or make any sacrifice for you in order to move closer to you in it."
"Okay," He said. "How about 3 hours of prayer a day?"
You would think I would have gulped. I would have expected to half faint at the idea of doing something that drastic. But I instantly accepted. I got up at 3:10 this morning and prayed, and I haven't even felt tired today, which is HIGHLY unusual, because almost every day, I've taken a nap at lunch time because I was so tired, and today I didn't even get that, and I was completely alert and engaged.
He really does provide EVERYTHING you need in order to fulfill his commands. He gives you the spiritual resources and the physical resources.
GOD IS SO AMAZING!!!