Friday, October 11, 2013

No Certain Dwellingplace

Since November of 2011, the longest I have been in one place is three months. It has definitely been a season of stretching. I thought I was flexible, but I never dreamed I would have to be THIS flexible.

Part of me longs to have a place of my own, a home base, a little tiny house that is just mine, where I can settle down and just stay put and let things stabilize and feel normal. I was born with a good-sized dose of wanderlust, but even my travel tolerance is beginning to wear thin. 

Sometimes in prayer lately, I sigh to the Lord with longing to just settle down in a place that I can call my own. But then He asks me, "What if it is my will for you to have no certain dwellingplace?" Would I be okay with living my whole life on this earth as a transient, a nomad, uprooted, never having the chance to own a home or live a normal life? 

So I cry, "Oh Lord Jesus, be thou my dwellingplace, and purify my motives for wanting to settle down, and make me available for Your purposes, whatsoever they may be." 

Could I be satisfied with a basement bedroom in the home of people I don't know? 

Could I be okay with never having a kitchen that is mine, with the good quality pots and kitchen knives that I dream of having? 

Could I accept the idea of still living under someone else's roof, and still not knowing where I'll be three months from now? 

I kind of moved out here with the dream that I would put down roots and finally settle---but since I have been here, circumstances have forbidden that outcome. 

And the whisper falls soft on my soul: "Why did you want to settle? Was it so that you could prop your feet up and stop fighting and just live a comfortable, normal life?" 

Lord, spare me from ever settling for retreat. Spare me from mediocrity, from normalcy, from the status quo, from the rat race. I was made for more than this. Therefore, I freely relinquish all claim to a place of my own. I embrace the nomadic life for as long as you want me to live it. You must love me very much indeed to have given me this opportunity to discover your grace. I look forward to you being better than a house to me. Thank you. 

1 comment:

  1. "I look forward to you being better than a house to me." What a precious thought! God is so faithful! Thank you for this blog post. God bless you!


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