Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A bit of decorating

My roommate Bethany worked with me today to get settled in and make things look pretty. Under her touch, rooms have transformed from, "Oh, look at this room. It looks like where someone dumps all their junk," to "Oh, look at this nice, inviting room. I want to be in this room." I'm hoping some of her decorating skills will rub off on me! 

We set up a little office/workstation where I can sit and write. Need flowers in the vases, and it will be complete.

A cabinet I got at a yard sale for $5 dresses up a corner nicely. 
(Ha! I think of some of the blogs I have seen where a woman will tour you through her house and describe all the little details...yeah, we know we're not at THAT level yet. Our house is still pretty empty, so we're making do with what we have.)

Project: Primer on a table to turn it from black to white. I think I'm going to need a lot of coats. It doesn't help that the leg came off of this $5 yard sale table while we were loading in into the car. We'll have to figure out how to put that back on, too. 

This room just off my room used to be the dining room. Now it contains the overflow of all my stuff that won't fit in my bedroom...and a lot of bare wall and carpet space. When I get my table painted, I'm thinking it can go in this room and be a craft table.

Pictures up on my dresser...starting to look homey!

A $5 easel--another yard sale find

Pushpins in the wall??? A liberating concept. Thank you, Bethany, for this lovely display that is SO much more accessible to get my jewelry!

Upstairs living room, just a tad bit sparse. Looking for a couch...

Empty bedrooms (we may be getting some more roommates, or we may not if we move out when the rental agreement expires in September. Not sure what's happening with that yet. In the meantime, it's a lovely large, spacious house.)



Saturday, July 27, 2013

Target vs. Sam's Club vs. YARD SALE!!!

Setting up housekeeping. Ahhh... what a delightful thing to do... except when it comes to the rapid drain on the pocketbook. But, yet again, God chooses to make this into another episode of "GOD TAKES VERY GOD CARE OF ME." I just love being HIS! 

Let me highlight the GOODNESS of God by providing my Target and Sam's Club purchases as a case in point to show the contrast of the amazing gift God gave me at a yard sale.

Target 

Just a drawer not-even-quite-full of stuff: basic, bare-bones essentials, and it cost $101.98.

My purchase included:
Plastic dishpan: $1.87
Glass pitcher: $12.99
Anchor 2-cup measure: $3.79
Wire whisk: $8.99
Pancake turner: $6.99
Peeler: $7.99
2-piece spatula set: $3.12
3-piece bamboo tools: $3.98
Measuring spoons: $3.99
Measuring cups: $4.99
Rolling Pin: $20.19
3-pack sponges (not pictured): $3.89
4-pack scouring pads (not pictured): $2.99
Broom (not pictured; I took it back because it was useless): $9.99

Sam's Club

I think it's a little larger pile, but it's fewer items...and it was $107.81


This time I got:
2-broom set: $10.98 (Waaaay better than the Target broom, just sayin')
Cascade Dishwasher powder: $9.28
2-pack cookie sheets: $10.78
Glad Cling wrap (2-pack): $5.97
4-lb organic carrots: $2.98
Mop: $8.88
Mop Bucket: $39.98
Flour Sack Towels: $12.48

Yard Sale

And then there was the yard sale.

I woke up Saturday morning with the distinct impression that God wanted me to go to a yard sale. "I have something for you. Go out to some yard sales."

Okaaaay.... but I don't have internet, so how can I look up where the yard sales are? OH! I can do it the old fashioned way. Maybe I'll go down to the gas station and get a newspaper!

I got in the car and left. On my way to the nearest gas station, I saw a couple of yard sale signs, so I followed them and got this chair for $1.00.


It needs to be reupholstered, but I couldn't turn it down for ONE dollar. And I can reupholster it. It'll be a fun project.

I took the chair home and went back out. I decided to just drive around and look for signs, so I drove toward the part of town where I figured there would be the most likelihood of seeing signs. I saw my first sign and pulled in. It was at a storage unit, and a family who had already moved to another state a year ago had come back to clean out all the stuff that they had put in storage that had been sitting here for a year. They had already replaced everything. They just needed to get rid of all their stuff.

I walked up and the lady asked me what I was looking for.

"Oh, maybe kitchen stuff," I said.

"Oh, we have kitchen stuff," she said. "If you can just give me a minute."

So she started pulling boxes out of the storage unit, and I started collecting a little pile of stuff I was interested in, and as the pile grew, I migrated it into the back of my car. Finally it came time to reckon up.

"How much do you want for all this stuff?" I asked.

"Whatever you want to give me," she said.

"How about $50?" I said.

"Fine," she said.

So I handed her $50 and drove away with THIS:

9 small green glasses, 6 large green glasses, 4 tall clear glasses 

5 pie plates

6 serving/mixing bowls

A round casserole dish with lid

Two 11x7-inch Pyrex dishes 

A 13x11-inch Corningware casserole dish and an oval platter

Random stuff...Paper plates, two mugs, a microwave cover, and a cutting board

Two round cake pans and two colanders

A roaster pan and a crock pot

A giant electric Rival roasting oven

A food processor, a blender, and a brand-new coffee grinder

A Dirt Devil vacuum

A nonstick pancake griddle (no cord), another bowl, and a wire cooling rack

All these utensils

All these spices

And more! (not pictured): 
•  A 6-foot ladder
• A car charger for my phone
• A jump rope
• A lid for a rectangular cake pan (but I don't have the cake pan...oh well...I thought it would eventually unearth from the boxes, but it didn't.)

So $51 later, I have a chair and all this bounty. Is God not amazing in his dealings with me? All of this was stuff I needed and would not have been able to afford right away.

God knew He had a gift for me, and He told me about it, and he sent me out to get it. And while I felt like I was stumbling around in the dark, driving around looking for yard sale signs instead of looking up where the good sales were in the rich neighborhoods, He was perfectly guiding my steps.

OH! And the best part? He even gave me the money to get it. I would have had only about $10 cash, but that very morning I had found $100 that someone had hidden in my stuff...some anonymous donor who blessed me amazingly when I found it, and God used it to pay my yard sale bill. Amazing. Beautiful. (So thank you, if you're reading this and you know who you are! I found it! In perfect timing! Thank you!!!) It's like God says, "Hmmm, I want Rebekah to go to this yard sale. Let me send her out the door with some money." And I find money. In my own house. How bizarre is that??? God's ways are unpredictable! Can I just say--I LOVE WORKING FOR HIM!!!

The end.

P.S. If I had to buy all this stuff new, good grief! How much do you think it would cost???


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Rocky Mountain National Park

These pictures are not the best, because they were taken with my chintzy little flip phone that was not cool even in 2009 when I got it...but it's either this or nothing, so enjoy as best as you can!

After our grueling 30+ hour drive, my brother and I unloaded the U-haul trailer the same day and then went to bed. But Monday and Tuesday, we got to go on some stimulating (and tiring) hikes at Rocky Mountain National Park.

Monday I was completely disconnected from the electronic leash, as I didn't even have my phone with me. We parked at a Park & Ride and rode a shuttle up to Bear Lake. We went to see Bear Lake, which was kind of like "ho hum, look, there's water," and we were a bit traumatized by the massive numbers of people around, so we took the first side trail that presented itself and hiked to Bierstadt Lake, which we didn't even see because we went around it the short way rather than the long way.

Coming down from Bierstadt Lake, we descended in switchbacks down a steep incline that was covered with wildflowers. We could look up and see aspen trees on the ridge above us, and we could look out and see Rocky Mountain peaks all around us. It was nice because the trail was almost all downhill, and it left us conveniently at a shuttle stop. We boarded the shuttle and got off this time at the Glacier Gorge stop, hiked up to see the lovely Alberta falls, and then took a breathtaking (literally and figuratively) loop around to see Mills Lake, Lake Haiyaha, Dream Lake, and Nymph Lake, making our day's mileage total about 11.5 miles.

At Mills Lake, we were hot and tired from hiking, so we took a little rest. James hiked around the lake to where some rock cliffs came right up to the lake's edge, and he climbed up them and jumped from about 20 feet into the water. Some guys who arrived after us saw him and went over to do the same. James jumped three times and then came back shivering. The water was quite chilly, so we sat there to warm up for a bit and then continued on our hike.

When we got around to Lake Haiyaha, it was such a jewel of blue-green nestled in the mountains that I announced I wanted to swim across it. One dip of my toes in the water, however, convinced me otherwise, as this lake was even colder than Mills Lake had been. It was the kind of cold that you could wade in ankle deep and have to steel your will to remain in the water for 30 seconds, because your feet were turning so red and freezing so intensely. I think I made it to about 12 seconds.

So James and I climbed up on this big huge boulder, and he dove in, and I really wanted to. Finally, some people who were there decided to leave, and I decided to take the plunge.

The shock of hitting the water was indescribable. It wasn't like jumping into a cold pool and feeling that tingling feeling all over and thinking, "Oooh, this is cold." It was a shock that precluded all thought, all feeling. It created an inability to contemplate or analyze the situation. All that existed was pure desperation: Get out of the water. I got out and shivered on a rock until my clothes started to dry.

While I was sitting there, a family came up and the father climbed up on the same rock we had jumped off of. He was talking about taking a little plunge, and we told him we had done it.

"Do you have your sunscreen on?" he asked.

"Well, no, actually, I don't," I said. "I forgot it this time."

He said he was the president of the Denver dermatological society and happened to have some sample tubes of sunscreen on him, which he gave to us and told us some skin cancer facts while we rubbed it on. Evidently Colorado's rate of skin cancer is three times higher than the rest of the country.

Then he dove in, and agreed that it was cold.

We struck up a conversation and he told us that one of his favorite hikes was the hike to Chasm Lake, near Long's Peak. I found it on the map, and James and I decided to go there the next day.

Tuesday morning, I was a bit sore from our hike, so we didn't get quite as early of a start, but we drove up to the Long's Peak trailhead to hike to Chasm Lake. It was going to be about 8.5 miles round trip to the lake, and I was already dragging by the time we had hiked 20 minutes. I said to James that he should go on ahead, and he said that he would get as far as he could and at 2:00 he would turn back.

I walked slowly up the hill. S.L.O.W.L.Y. The altitude and the steepness and just a general fatigue that was uncharacteristic of me made me wonder if I would get to the lake at all. Our friend the president of dermatologists had said that the first part of the hike was really boring but that you got up above the treeline very quickly, so I kept waiting to get there and wondering what "soon" meant. But I told myself that even if it took me longer, I would eventually get there. I walked, step. step. step. Maybe one step every 2 seconds. Really slow.

Finally I got up above the treeline and was graced with the following lovely views:





When I was about here, I was passed by a bunch of elderly hikers going down, followed by two rangers leading three llamas. I sat down to rest as they passed, and one of the hikers looked at my feet, clad in Chaco's sandals. "Nice shoes," he said in an ironic tone. "Oh, yeah, right," I responded in jest. They were all wearing rugged hiking boots, of course.

They passed by and I rested a little later to catch my breath and drink a sip of water. While I was sitting there, James came bounding down the path toward me. He had been to the lake and back already. Since he had the backpack, I took the opportunity to eat some lunch, and then we continued on uphill. It was like 4 miles straight uphill, and then a short downhill, and then another uphill clambering hands and knees up the rocks (not quite rock climbing, or rock climbing level negative-something).

As we were going on together, we met three people coming downhill. "Hey, I know those people," the father announced. It was the guy we had met at the lake the day before.

"Hey, fancy meeting you here," I said. "And I have my sunscreen on today."

"Good," he said.

"But--" his wife put in, in a kindly, almost hesitant tone, "those might not be the best shoes."

Oh boy, I'm probably labeling myself to everyone that passes as "Not From Around Here" by these shoes," I thought.

He pointed out "the diamond," a rock climbing face visible from where we were standing. He was a rock climber and had climbed it. He also recommended the Twin Sisters Peak hike for a future date.

"Well, have fun at the lake!" he said. "And beware of the marmots. Most aggressive marmots in Colorado."

Then we went on our way.

Little trail to the lake...getting closer!

A pool below the lake that we thought at first WAS the lake.

Chasm Lake. 

It was getting on in the afternoon by the time we got there, creating a bit of backlighting and shadows, but it would have been simply spectacular for photos at sunrise. One could camp overnight relatively nearby and make it here for the dawn sunlight that would have made these rocks look positively golden.


Looking backwards at the view. You can see a thin, light line along the hill at the left. This was the trail by which we approached. The ascent to this point was immensely satisfying, with ever-expanding views and nearby waterfalls and the fun rock climbing bit right before the lake. 

We didn't swim in this one.


And these shoes didn't give me a bit of trouble. Why don't some of these other hikers give them a try? (Although I did get quite the Z-shaped tan line on my foot)

One of the many marmots we sighted. He didn't exactly seem aggressive, but he certainly did seem completely unafraid.

There. Isn't he a cute little guy? 

On the way back down, I no longer had the problem of being winded and exhausted, so the two of us bounded and skipped all the way down the mountain like two little wild goats. It was fun. And then we went home. And then James had to sit in a plane the next day. I slept like 10 hours per night for the next couple of nights before I fully recovered. But I'd do it again!


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Moving out and moving in

Ahhh... what a whirlwind. Time has flown and I have been busy.
I had to sort, de-clutter, and pack this. It was actually worse than this when I pulled everything out from the attic--there was literally no room to walk. Goodbye to my little room under the eaves with the orange wall and no window. Goodbye to (sometimes) sleeping in 98 degrees. Goodbye to after-dark chats with my sisters in the adjoining bedroom. Goodbye to the little orange half-door to the even hotter attic where all the junk usually stayed hidden. All my junk is gone, gone, gone. The clutter was oppressive and the fact that it is gone feels like freedom. (Now if I can only keep from accumulating more clutter...)

Hello to my new room. I have my own walk-in closet, my own bathroom, and a door to the patio. It's splendid.

So the bathroom needs a little love in terms of decoration, but we'll get there.

Working on the closet.

A little hideaway door at the back of the closet opens into this nice extra storage space for bins and winter clothes. 

Patio door

The patio that my door leads to

The dazzling view from the patio (gotta love the dinosaur and cow...)

The kitchen...can't wait to use this for hospitality! 

Regarding the kitchen, I have had little bit of shock in discovering all the things I didn't realize I needed until I wanted them and they weren't there. The first day it was salt. The second day it was a rolling pin, measuring cups and spoons, and baking powder. But thanks to Wal-Mart, Target, and some yard sales, I'm getting adjusted and equipped. 

It's such a risky, crazy, scary thing that I have done. I have no idea what is going to happen. Here I am. All I can do is be obedient. I am in the Lord's hands, going at His bidding and totally excited to see what the future holds. 

Monday, July 1, 2013

God Provides A Guitar

When I went to Haiti, I went through a bit of instrument-withdrawal. I was so starved for playing the piano that one day I asked my roommates if anyone had a piano app on an ipad. Someone did, and I spent a little while doodling around with it, trying find a way to play "Rondo Alla Turca" on the tiny little touchscreen keyboard, and never really succeeding. But it satiated the urge for the time being, and I went away happy.

Later, my longing for an instrument came back with increasing intensity, and I appeared before the throne with a plea welling up from deep inside me:

"LORD, could you please provide a guitar?"

A guitar would be perfect. I had wanted to learn to play the guitar for a long time, and that summer I had taken one month of guitar lessons and then had continued practicing by myself with my instruction books, so I had made a beginning. A guitar is about the best missionary instrument I can think of--it's portable, you can sing along with it, and it is extremely versatile for lots of kinds of music.

The next day, I was talking with some short-term visitors who had come down to serve the kids in our creche, and one of them sat down in the schoolroom to talk to me while the kids were on their lunch break.

"What is your biggest WANT?" she asked me.

"A guitar!" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Then I felt awful for saying it, because I didn't want to hint or manipulate or ask for the guitar, but just watch God provide it. So I made a lame attempt to backtrack my words, but of course it was too late.

One of the other ladies who was sitting nearby joined in the conversation and said she knew some guitarists. "Let me see what I can do for you," she said. So when she went back home, she pulled some strings.

On December 6, I got an email from this woman.

"Rebekah, 
I am so excited to share this news with you. A very dear friend of mine has graciously given me a guitar for you. It was made by hand for her and she wants you to have it. She is an international bluegrass artist. She does not want to be recognized for the guitar. The gentleman who made it for her lives on the east coast and made it by hand. He used a very beautiful piece of wood and used mother of pearl inlay. It is coming to you in it's own hard case with strings, k-po (sp?), picks and a string tightener. Also, the guitar is alittle heavier than most. It is reinforced to hopefully hold up in Haiti weather. 
She hope that you will enjoy this with the children and she would love to see a picture of you & the kids playing the guitar. ___ is taking the guitar with her tonight to Indiana with all the other donations. It will be on the van being sent to the Creche loaded with donations for the children. Please let me know when you get the guitar. I am being told that the van is on its way to Haiti at the end of December. 
Love to you and the children."

She added two pictures of this BEAUTIFUL guitar.



I sent back my flabbergasted reply.

Oh my word! I don't know what to say! 
(Pardon me while I lift my eyes heavenward and gasp, GOD, THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM YOU TO ME!!!!!) 
I am speechless. That is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beyond words, amazing, incredible... what can I possibly do to thank her--and you--and God??? 
Please know, and let this precious woman know, that her gift will be used lovingly, tenderly, and gratefully, protected with zealous care, and absolutely TREASURED, because it IS a treasure! I look at it as if it were sent straight down from from the storehouse of Heaven itself. It will be used to bless countless orphan children with a joyful noise and the rare opportunity to obtain musical instruction. It will be used for the praise and glory and honor of God, accompanying children's voices raised in song to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 
As a musician, I know, and I feel deeply, the heart-rending sacrifice it is to give up an instrument. It's scary enough to let another musician touch your instrument sometimes, let alone someone you don't even know, especially when it's such a special instrument, one that was hand-made for you. And to think of sending it off to another country where you will probably never see it again, in a climate you know is not good for it, is true selflessness and sacrifice in its purest expression. I do not take that lightly, and I know that God sees it and will bless that heart of giving one's best. 
"That other guitar"
So you said it was reinforced to hold up in the Haiti weather? That's great! Did they do that specially for sending it down here, or was that already done before? You saw how that other guitar was, so you know how essential that will be! Thank them for doing that--it will be sure to give it a longer term of useful service.
Grateful and humbled and blessed by this staggering generosity, 
Rebekah

I waited expectantly for the van to come down, and it finally did! However, it sat in the port in Saint Marc for weeks, and I was a bit anguished to think of the guitar sitting inside it, roasting in the heat. "Oh, Lord, please protect the guitar!" I pleaded again and again.

The van finally got out of port, and the guitar was not on it. I found out it had been left in Indiana, where they had loaded the van, and it was sitting safely in someone's living room. What a relief. Even though it meant that I had to wait longer to get it, it had been protected from getting needlessly ruined.

Over the course of the next few months, I exchanged emails occasionally with the woman who had made this guitar possibility come to life. She would ask if I had gotten it yet, and I would say no. Finally, the day came when it was time for me to leave Haiti, and I felt that in good conscience the right thing to do was to give the guitar up. It had been given for use in Haiti, and I was no longer in Haiti. I could not keep it.

I sent a message and offered it back, but they wrote and said to me that they wanted me to use it in ministry. It was a glorious day!

So as I drove through Indiana the other day, I stopped and picked it up. I was in the middle of an 800-mile journey home, but I couldn't wait. Right then and there, I tuned it up and played. The gorgeous, buttery, rich, deep sound just blew me away! I could not believe what God had done for me.

And now I have a guitar, and I practice it every day!

Is not my God an amazing, generous, all-powerful, extraordinary Father?


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Amputation of My Driver's Side Mirror

It was a simple airport run to pick up two passengers--one from the airport, and one from the Amtrak station. I got ready to leave on time, and right before I left the house, I felt like the Lord told me I would need my pocketknife. I grabbed it, thinking it wouldn't hurt to have it along even if I didn't have a use for it.

I started driving down the interstate and had gotten to the middle of nowhere on the way to the airport. The speed limit was 75 mph, and I was in the far left lane when my driver's side mirror, buffeted by the strong wind, started to crack off. 

I think the car had been wrecked before I bought it, because the mirror was already loose. From the day I bought it, it was disconnected from all the proper attachment bolts and was just hanging on by one giant screw that someone had put in (ghetto repair style). So as I was driving down the road, little pieces of the brittle plastic started flying away, and soon the mirror was jerking violently back and forth, totally useless for viewing anything in, and I was afraid it was soon going to disconnect completely and smash into somebody's vehicle. 

I pulled over onto the left-hand shoulder, put my flashers on, and got out. "How convenient that I have my knife!" I thought. As cars and trucks thundered by me at close range, I started using the back of the blade as a screwdriver to remove the single screw that was holding the mirror in (which now had a dangerous crack running through the plastic). It was a tough screw and I would never have been able to get it out with my fingers. "Thank you, Lord, that I brought this along," I was saying. 

I got the screw out and pulled the mirror off the door. OH NO! It was still connected by a wire as thick as my little finger. I couldn't leave it dangling by the wire, but I couldn't see any way to disconnect the wire. I could just imagine how it would be--the mirror flipping around, banging into the side of my vehicle, glass shattering and getting into my tires...no, it must not be. What would I do? I considered putting the screw back in and seeing if it would last, but I knew it wouldn't last more than a few minutes, and I was going to be back in the same boat. What? what? what? I couldn't go home, because I had to make it to the airport.

Then it dawned on me, and an exultant laugh burst from my lips--"Let's solve this problem HAITI STYLE!" With a bit of destruction! An amputation! There was my pocketknife right in my hand. Just cut those wires! 

I was certain it was NOT the "right way" to do this, and I surmised that I would regret it later when I went to get a new mirror, but it was the best thing I could do. I hacked away at the bundle of wires until they were all severed, put the mirror on the floor by the back seat, and continued on my way in my now-illegal vehicle. 

It's SO DANGEROUS to drive without a driver's side mirror! I highly do NOT recommend it! Especially on a 4-lane highway going 75 mph. Check your blind spot! Compulsively! But I picked up my passengers and we made it back without incident.

Happily, God provided for another mirror, a brand new one, and it got mounted securely and even re-wired back together. Praise the Lord!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

God's Token of Provision

God is so amazing.

The morning after I bought the car, someone anonymously left an envelope for me outside the front door of the house. No one saw who it was or knew where it came from. It merely said "To Rebekah" on the outside. I didn't recognize the handwriting.



Inside was a pretty little unsigned note with two Scriptures, and $50.


The note says,
"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." --Matthew 6:31-33 
"He leads the humble in what is right and teaches the humble His way...Who is the man who fears the LORD? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose." --Psalm 25:9, 12

Just what I needed to hear, and such a blessing.

Just the day before, God had whispered to me that before I needed to fill up my gas tank again, He would provide for it. But I never expected it to come so soon!

Anonymous donor, if you're reading this, Thank You! I am sure it was given sacrificially. Thank you for being obedient to the Lord. He is able to give you much more than this. He used this in my life to show Himself strong and give me a token that He remembers me and is planning for my provision. I still don't know how that is going to unfold, but I trust Him to do everything that is necessary to show Himself strong on my behalf. Thank you for being the messenger of the Lord to tell me this. It is surely a blessing.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

How God Provided a Chevy Blazer For Me


Ever since I got back to the US and felt that God was leading me to settle here for the time being, I have known that I needed a car really badly. My entire life savings that remained to me was just about exactly $2000, and I had looked at some cars on craigslist without really finding anything. The few vehicles that I did like were either sold before I contacted the seller or no one ever contacted me back. 

On Wednesday, I was driving back from doing some errands with a friend.  She and I had the sweetest, most God-centered conversation, and then we had a prayer time together in the car. When we were almost home, my friend had just started praying for my car situation and asking God to lead us to the right car for me. I was driving (her car), and just then we were at a red light with a car dealership on the corner. I had a strong feeling that I should pull in, but I dismissed the fact. I was passing by it and my friend interrupted her prayer to say, "I feel like we should go in here." I was shocked and told her that I did too! It was too late to get into the driveway, so I found a place to make a U-turn and we drove into the dealership. It was just a little corner lot selling used cars. The first car that we saw, a white Chevy Blazer, had a sign hanging from the rearview mirror that said $2000.

We talked to the dealer about lowering the price and he said he thought he could work with us. We left and told him we would be back later that day.

Back at my friend's house, I did a bit of online research on the Blazer to find out if it would be a good car.

We went back to the dealership later that evening and test drove the car, and getting into the driver's seat, I just immediately felt like "I don't want it. It's not what I want. It's not what I'm looking for." I wanted instead a good gas-mileage vehicle, like a Corolla or a Civic or a Saturn or something. 

After our test drive, we talked to the guy (who had stayed at least 30 minutes past closing time for us), and somehow we talked him down to selling it to us for $1200. With taxes and fees and licensing, it was going to end up being $1700 out the door. We told him we would give him a final decision by noon the next day. 

We went home and talked about it, and I told my friend that I didn't really want an SUV, and then we started looking online at cars, and we found a couple of nice little 4-door cars for $2000 and under, so I felt like I could easily hold out for something like that, but I also felt like if God wanted to change my wants and give me a different plan for a vehicle, I was open to that (even though the Blazer was only going to get 16 mpg). 

I mentioned something about how maybe cars would be cheaper in Tennessee and maybe I should fly home on a one-way ticket and get a car down there, where it would be cheaper, and then drive back out here with my stuff. My friend agreed that it would be a good idea, and then I thought, "Well, if I use up money to get home, I'll have even less, and then the kind of car I could afford would be even junkier..." so I said, "Maybe I should even think about getting like a summer job down there so that I can save up a bit of money for the car." My friend agreed. 

I thought, If I go home on a one-way ticket and look for a summer job, I will end up being just as stuck as I was before. There is no opportunity, no mobility, no way to really earn an income. It would be better for me to get that summer job here. So then I started looking at job sites and checking business directories and going onto company websites in the communications field and trying to figure out how I would apply for a position, and I started thinking about my resume and how lame it is, and how even though I know that I could probably do any job out there, my resume certainly doesn't reflect that, and unless someone knows me, they won't believe it, and I just went from site to site and from link to link and from idea to idea, collecting a bunch of leads but feeling hopeless about all of them (and not interested at all in the kind of work), until finally I just closed my tabs and turned off my computer and went to bed in tears. 

"Lord," I prayed, "I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to job hunt. I don't know how to operate in the world. I don't know what you want of me." I felt like I just needed an income, plain and simple. I named a sum and told the Lord that I needed that much every month, and that seemed so preposterous and outrageous that I couldn't believe I was even asking for it.

But He planted the thought in my mind that this was invitation to stretch my faith. Could I trust Him to provide my monthly income, as preposterous as it sounded?

I asked Him, "What is the path of obedience?"

He whispered back, "Write."

Over and over again, He has confirmed to me that this is His pathway for me. I really do feel like this writing venture is of the Lord. I really do think that He has something for me to say. He has given me a message. Over and over, He keeps confirming this to me through passages like "Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth," (Jer. 1:9).

Then I asked Him, "Where do I live?"

He said, "Here."

I asked, "Where do I get my money from?"

He said, "Me."

And I struggled to believe that this was possible. How could I just venture out on something like this, costing money to live? Wasn't that just crazy? And presumptuous?

But then He gave me a perspective changer.

"I called you to the mission field and you trusted me for your expenses, and I provided. Now I'm calling you to a different mission field. Just look at it as if it is a special mission field. Can you trust me to provide for what I have commanded you to do?"

And I discovered that I could answer, "Yes," and that I had peace about it.

I went to sleep trusting Him and was comforted from my tears.

The next morning, I was still wondering about the car. Even though I didn't really care about a Blazer and it had high miles, at the same time I wondered if this car was really a Godsend, especially with how far the dealer went down in price. It would almost wipe out my entire bank account, but I wasn't afraid to go down to my last pennies. I have done it many, many times before, and God has always provided and shown himself faithful and strong. The car seemed to be the first step to getting a job (if God chooses to provide for me in that way). And the Blazer has cargo room, so I could go get my stuff from home and bring it back out here, or pull a little U-haul and even get my bedroom suite. And then I could put my bike in the back, or a kayak, or go down and buy myself a bookshelf as I set up my little house...I even feel like God said that He has a house for me. I don't know what that means or how it's even possible, but I feel like this is the time for me to set up a home. As weird as that sounds...impossible almost...I can only wait on His leading and watch as He orchestrates these details.

Anyway, during the morning, as I prayed, the Lord totally changed my heart and convinced me that it was His will for me to buy this car.

We went down to the dealership and found that it was actually $50 cheaper than the dealer expected it to be, due to the fact that my address was outside city limits for taxes. I handed over the money, signed all the paperwork, and drove away in my new (old) Blazer. I set up my insurance, got an emissions test, and filled the gas tank. 

That night, before I went to sleep, I talked to the Lord about it, and I felt like He whispered to me, "Before you need to fill up your gas tank again, I will have provided the money for it." I laid back on my pillows, overwhelmed at how He is watching over me. 


***Read tomorrow's post for how He already filled my next gas tank! He showed Himself so strong on my behalf with a token of His provision for me.***

Friday, June 7, 2013

So much silence...

I believe this is my longest lapse in blogging in over a year. Last year in May, I committed to doing a blog post every single day of the month, and I succeeded. My pageviews jumped from 204 in the month of April to 423 in the month of May to 936 in the month of June. Still not very impressive by professional blog standards, but I could certainly see that posting regularly had a dramatic and positive impact on the growth of my site.

I was working so hard to build an audience, and then since the beginning of the year, I pretty much lost my "umph" or something. At first it was because I had lost my camera and didn't have any pictures to post. Then it was because I didn't have consistent electricity in Haiti, then it was sheer busy-ness, and then it was a major transition in my life, namely, moving back to the US.

So now that I'm getting settled, I hope to begin posting again regularly!

Thank you to all my faithful readers who continued to visit my site in my absence! Last May I was getting 6-10 pageviews a day, and now, despite not ever posting, I am still getting 60-70. Amazing. Thank you for visiting. Come back again soon... lots of good stories of God's doings.